If I Tell You, I'd Have To Kill You

So when the sun is up, we'll laugh about how we need to get some sleep.

And we'll count down the days we have left.

Try to remember what happened and who came and left.

Finding out things about ourself we never knew.

Sleeping over, getting into trouble, having fun.

We need this cause but not for long.

When we get back to wherever we need to be, we'll keep these memories.

I'm tired and my body can barely take it anymore.

Shhh, i have to focus.

I have to be professional and keep it cool.

It feels like a decade but it's been two days.
My eye bags are growing every second.

This is the life!

Put Your Troubles Aside

Bittersweet End To The Spell You Cast On Me

I could easily break your heart, let you go, make you cry.
I could easily make your heart bleed with pain and misery.
I could easily turn your life into a living hell and torture you inside and out.
I could simply tell you how worthless you really are and make your smiles never see the light of day ever again.
I can easily tell you the undying true story of how no one actually cares about you.
I can easily tell you your life's story of once upon a time and the end and explain in detail that you're nothing more that a piece of dirt stuck to the bottom of my very dirty heel.
I can simply show you how easy it is to find another you seeing it's easy finding a complete nobody.
I can easily shatter your hopes and dreams so finely you'd only pray to try and pick yourself up again.
I can easily lift your spirits up so high and let them go in a blink of an eye just to break them into tiny little miserable pieces.
I can easily jump start your life wires and pull the chords off the power source just to show how easy you are to ruin.
I can do so many things to you and i can easily break you so far down you won't want to get up.


But watching you fail all by yourself feels better.

Treat Them Like Dirt They'll Forever Stick To The Bottom Of Your Shoes

One day you'll wake-up and realise how much you miss me and you'll realise all the bad things you've ever done to me.
You'll want to fix everything or take your words back.
You'll want to try and get my forgiveness or try to erase all our memories you shattered when you threw my heart out the window.

One day you'll get out of bed and realise all your t-shirts smell like me and the ones that don't are with me.
You'll try and give me back the stuff i ever gave you.
You'll want to burn the letters or ignore the pictures i gave you.
You'll want to try and delete my phone number and try to forget the fact you memorised it already.

One day you'll look in the mirror and not recognise yourself for you have lost all your self-esteem.
You'll want to try and pick yourself up but you fail knowing i was the only glue pulling you together.
You'll want to get out of bed but find yourself struggling to even roll over from the depression that's taking over you body from knowing the sins you have committed.

One day, all i have ever done for you or to you makes sense.
But it'll be too late and all you have is cuts on your wrist from all your regrets.
And i have moved on and i never looked back.
Cause putting you in the past was a choice and it was the best i've ever made.

I can now look up to the sky, watch the clouds and breath in clean air.
I feel no more pain and the air around me is clean once again.


And we all know who wins this round, kid.

Sweets

If it isn't obvious enough now, i already forgave you.
How can i stay angry at you? Right?
We always have fun and really that's all we need.
We just need to be there for each other.
Who cares about the status?
We'll create our own rules.
Who cares who ever says right?
We know who we are and we know what we want.
You'll be fine i know, but some things just need to be helped okay?

So don't hesitate to need me.

Blame It On The Goose Gotcha Feeling Loose

I know i don't need you but you make me feel good.
You made do things i didn't think i could do.
You make me let go and i have the most fun around.
You make me go crazy and people hate me around you.
But i love the feeling when we're together.

I swear i'll return to you after the mid-terms.
I don't need you but i want you so bad.
I miss you so bad.
Just wait for me and i'll be there soon.

An addiction is when you say you don't need it but do, i say i need it when i don't.
So it's fine.

Hi, I'm Yana and I'm absolutely fine.

So I Said It Might Be Funny To Keep Me Hanging In Suspense

Ever felt not like yourself one day?
Like you wake-up, get in the showers, get cleaned off, wear your clothes and when you look in the mirror to see how you look, you don't even recognise yourself?
Yeah exactly.

Ever felt like the one time you actually let go to feel new feelings, you just get shot back down and you start feeling that same amount of rejection and regret you felt before you made the decision to let go?
Ever feel like you picked up a strangers call?
Yeah exactly.

Ever felt the need to want to be better, look better, play smarter, study harder and to just feel better?
Ever felt like somehow something inside you is eating you up and you can't control the immensity of emotions running through your veins?
Yeah exactly.

Ever felt the need to close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm yourself before you slice someone's throat open?
Ever felt like wanting to hurt someone so bad just to get the attention off of your own pain?
Ever feel like just falling asleep in someone's arms?
Yeah exactly.

Ever feel like someone somewhere deserves to be you for a day just to feel how amazing you feel at one particular second of your life?
Ever feel like you wanna trade lives with someone so insignificant just to let them feel how it feels like to be apart of something amazing that is your life?
Yeah exactly.

Ever loved yourself so much that you build a wall around you so far deep in while wearing armour just so that the love of yourself doesn't get dented?
Ever just wanted to be alone cause that's all you can stand at the moment?
Yeah exactly.

Ever tried something so amazing you wanna freeze yourself in a capsule and never let that moment go?
Ever try to sneak behind someone and stab them in the back for calling you names you know shouldn't even be created for you?
Yeah exactly.

We face wonders, we face pain but it still doesn't give us a reason to admit defeat.

The Start of A New Belief

My most inner thoughts, scariest dreams and anything that has to do with me will be written in full details as of today in this blog.
Strict followers are loved, haters are ignored.
This is how i roll and i have more to do than to take care of your feelings.
This is my zone and this is where i come to get away.